Be-di-zen

bih-DYE-zun

Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day is bedizento dress or adorn gaudily.

She dresses in layers

Starting with her face, she wraps
ethereal adornments of who she should be

✔ ways to speak
✔ manners to follow
✔ people to please

ephemeral clothes
she meant to wash off

until the clock strikes midnight
and the fantasy unravels

leaving her trapped
in disguise thereafter

with no road back home to follow

somebody shine a light
I’m frozen by the fear in me
somebody make me feel alive and shatter me

so cut me from the light
this is spinning endlessly
somebody make me feel alive and shatter me

Read more about my experience
as an autistic woman seeking myself
after adult diagnosis at Cleo’s Autism Awareness.

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